Esperanza’s tummy fluttered as she practiced her lines on the porch. Today was the class play! Waiting for Mama to walk with her to school, she paced back and forth when she spotted a heart-shaped rock. Esperanza picked it up and showed it to Mama as soon as she stepped outside. “I see you found a little treasure,” said Mama. Esperanza rubbed its rough surface and felt a twinkle of joy. “Maybe it’s a sign.” “For what?” asked Mama. She thought about the class play later that afternoon wondering what it would finally be like in the spotlight. “To put my heart into everything I do,” she answered.
The children’s book “Listening with my Heart” by Gabi Garcia is a story of kindness and self-compassion and just one of many books and lessons featured during a Dharma Bum Kids hour. Downstairs in the Buddha For You meditation hall on the 3rd Saturday of every month at 11am you can find Natashja and other volunteers reading stories to the kids, connecting, coloring, and teaching lesson plans reflecting a Buddhist practice often curated by Lisa, a special education teacher, who led the program for a decade starting in 2011. Despite handing over the reins to Natashja who now usually leads the kids, Lisa still provides the lesson plans monthly and remains a huge part of the program's success. She continues to work hard to ensure that all of her lesson plans are, “teachings that are accessible for children while still reflecting the heart of the Buddhist practice: kindness, mindfulness, compassion, gratitude, and connection”. Another lesson plan called “Buckets of Kindness” is one of her favorites. Saying it, “teaches children that their words and actions can either fill someone’s emotional bucket or empty it.” The Dharma Bum Kids program remains important to Lisa, who shares that in this “fast-paced and often overwhelming world it’s incredibly important for kids to have a space where emotional awareness, mindfulness, empathy, and connection are nurtured from a young age”.
When Lisa first ran the program it was known as a Kids and Teen group. Then in 2017 the group yet again transformed into the Family Sangha. During this time the Sangha saw the biggest rise in attendance. It was also during this time, and during the infamous covid years, that Joshua and Jess with their two young kids, one and four years old at the time, were instrumental in changing the dynamic towards more of a family module, which then included a separate parent sangha. For Josh it was important to have families feel supported and connected through Buddhist teachings by making them relatable to their present experience. Where lessons in sitting still, breathing, meditating, and pausing before reacting became important lessons for all families. Josh looked back on that difficult time where so many families were just at a loss of how to cope with the challenges that covid brought. Incorporating a separate parent sangha was huge at that time because as Josh pointed out, “Nobody knows the difficulty of being a parent like a parent”.
For Josh and Jess, their kids now 10 and 13, life normalized and became busy once again. And even though both his family and Lisa have changed their roles they were the influential factor for Natashja volunteering, as she was friends with all of them at the time. Natashja first joined the Temple in 2014 and after being gone six years to practice nursing in the Navy, she returned back to San Diego. She has always loved being around kids and thought it was a great opportunity to give back to “ the community and support parents who are seeking camaraderie and a spiritual outlet”. So like a water dãna wheel in continuous motion, filling up with “buckets of kindness” spilling over allowing the program to continually change in one seamless rhythm.
Our Family Sangha is truly a community effort, and we are so grateful for the people who give their time and energy to make it such a welcoming space for families. Alice and her daughter Kalina lovingly spend time with our toddlers and younger children, giving parents the chance to participate while knowing their little ones are being cared for and having fun. Megan also leads the kids sharing Buddhist teachings, mindfulness, and activities in ways that are meaningful, engaging, and age-appropriate. Beverly is also a wonderful part of the team, helping with the children and supporting the classes wherever needed. Together, they help create a space where kids can feel comfortable, included, and connected to themselves and others.
Always adapting to the needs of the community, the program currently is set up more traditionally, where the kids have a place downstairs to learn and explore while the parents join the upstairs discussion. As time went on and family dynamics grew, many of the kids simply aged out according to Natashja. However, hoping to see the program flourish yet again Natashja shares that, “We are looking forward to welcoming more children and more volunteers. It is a wonderful opportunity to make friends in the community (for both kids and adults) to support each other, and for families to connect”.
But for the last six months all ages have been grouped together and lessons made age appropriate. Natashja explains that lessons are broken into 20 minutes of play or ice breakers, 20 minutes of reading and sharing, and then 20 minutes of dynamic activity related to the topic.
In the lesson, Listening with my Heart, Esperanza helps a kitten, is kind to a new kid at school, and ultimately learns to give herself grace after she trips and forgets her lines during the school play. As the story develops her epiphany dawns, "Listening with her heart wasn’t just about giving kindness and love to others, it was about giving it to herself, too”. A few more lessons of loving kindness are also highlighted and reiterated at the back of the book, one of them expressing:
WE ARE ALL CONNECTED
Everyone messes up, makes mistakes, and feels strong emotions-it’s normal. Everyone also wants to feel kindness and love. This is what connects us to each other. Place your hands gently on your lap. Take a few deep breaths and close your eyes if you’d like. Say these words to yourself:
I connect to myself through love and kindness.
I connect to others through love and kindness.
I connect to the world through love and kindness.
Notice how you feel after doing these activities. You can do them whenever you want. Listening with your heart feels good. It connects you to others and reminds you to be a friend to yourself. It helps grow a more peaceful world.
It turns out there is no age discrimination for lessons in kindness and compassion. These are exactly the types of lessons that Lisa hopes encourages kids “ to slow down, connect with themselves and others, and learn that kindness and compassion truly matter”. Buddhism for all people, all families, and for all ages, zero to one hundred. It would be wonderful to see you and your kids at the next sangha. Until then, perhaps search for a heart-shaped rock as a reminder to put your heart into all things.